“The Red Death is fading away. It’s going to fade away.”
“This thing, I call it the Florence Flu because really, we all know it was created in a lab in Italy. Those left-wing town squires are so hesitant to say it, but it did originate there. They brought it over.”
“Kids are virtually immune to The Red Death, I mean, you never hear about kids getting The Red Death. Let them keep blacksmithing.”
“Have we tried leeches? I mean leeches they’ll knock it out in, a minute, less than a minute. …
I want to thank you all for attending this Q&A for my upcoming novel, The Fly On The Wall. Before we get started, I just want to address something that seems to come up frequently.
People keep asking me about very minor, really isolated similarities between my book — which is totally fictional — and my own high school experience, which is ancient history. But any suggestion that I wrote this novel to somehow vicariously live through my characters and re-write my high school experience is completely false. …
Fun! Easy! Vengeance!
If you’re looking for a fun fall activity to do with your gal pals, look no further than a wine tasting party! They’re super classy, super easy, and most importantly, give you an excuse to get revenge on your friends for all the ways they’ve wronged you. So, here are some tips for throwing a totally awesome wine tasting party that will finally give you the opportunity to entomb Stephanie in the catacomb beneath your house!
Have a variety of different wines
No wine tasting party is complete without an array of reds, whites, and rosés, so make sure to…
This just seems like the best way to avoid confrontation.
HAMLET: Horatio!
HORATIO: Ay, my lord.
HAMLET: There is a play tonight before the King, one scene of it comes near the circumstance which I have told thee of dirty dishes being left in the sink. I prithee, when thou seest that act afoot, observe mine uncle. If his occulted guilt does not itself unkennel in one speech, then my imaginations are foul and perhaps they are someone else’s dishes. But give him heedful note! …
The Trojan Horse was a truly nightmarish gift…but it still requires a thank you note.
Dear Periosphis,
My son, I was so relieved to hear that you survived that horrendous attack from the Greeks! How terrifying it was to learn that their gift of a horse statue was nothing more than an apparatus of death. I wept in anguish for the vicious destruction brought down upon you and your fellow soldiers. That being said, you do still need to write a thank you note.
I know, I know, it was a horrible gift that directly caused the gruesome murder of dozens of your friends and officers, and you witnessed brutal carnage that will haunt you…
It’s not just guns and walls, there are lots of rules of storytelling!
If you hang a gun on the wall in act one, it must go off by act two.
· If a teenage girl is wearing glasses in act one, she must dramatically remove them in a makeover scene by act two.
· If a hardened cop talks about retirement in act one, there must be a new break on a cold case that has personal relevance to him by act two.
· If a group of people is established as an underdog team of ragtag misfits in act one, they must win a championship and/or build friendships that will last…
Michelle Cohn
New York-based writer and pop culture enthusiast. Read her short ramblings (@michcohn) and longer ramblings (michelle-cohn.com)
